I feel uneasy.
I think it's because of this girl who was overtly staring at me in Friendly's yesterday. She watched everything I did, and her eyes followed me to and from the bathroom. She honestly made no effort to hide her interest in me.
For some reason, this incident brings to mind a couple of summers ago, when this girl came up to me in Cumberland Farms when I was getting a slushie. She said to me, "Wow, you're seriously ugly," and brought her sister over to confirm, who was extremely eager to do so. She then asked, "Why do you even bother to go out in public? Do you really think anyone wants to look at you?" I remember telling her that I liked the way I looked, and I wasn't going to change it for a bratty teenager. And she told me that that was a shame, because I really did look terrible. She sounded so angry, so upset, so... offended that I happened to be in her presence that day. I didn't say anything else as she left the store.
I remember that my first thought was wondering where her mother was. I wondered if her mother would have done anything, or would have also told me that I am indeed ugly.
I was angry for a while. I felt like it was rude to go up to someone you don't know and verbally assault them for no particular reason.
My final thought was that this was probably how quite a few people saw me. This is how the people whose eyes had followed me throughout the years were thinking, but never said. I wondered if it really meant that I was ugly.
I guess this little girl, probably thirteen or fourteen, just threw me off. Maybe she was thinking the same thing about me. Maybe she was just curious because my hair is about six different colours. There's really no way to know. I guess I shouldn't really worry about it, but it was just something that has been stuck in my mind.
I bought some toys in Boston. Here's one.
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