I feel like there are so many things in my life that I'm doing wrong. Like, I'm bad at Organic, Calculus, paying attention in classes, work, being a good friend/girlfriend/sister/human...
My stupid heat is broken again. Or rather, I should say, as usual. I'm so sick of it. I've put on a long sleeve shirt and a sweater and socks. I'm warm now, but I did just get out of the shower a little while ago. And I can feel heat rising to my cheeks. There's no one here to be embarrassed to, so why am I flushing? But I digress. I am simply so annoyed at the heat. It's on, and it's blowing air out, but the air is cool. Lukewarm. Like the temperature I keep my air conditioner on in the summer when I actually have it on. It's disgusting. I don't even know if it's worth it to call the physical plant again. They're probably already so sick of me calling about my heat, they'll probably lower the temperature for the room further. That'll show me, right? Whatever.
I find myself annoyed at nearly everything again. At this point, I have to wonder if I'm clinically depressed. I tell people that they're perfectly allowed to have bad days, because it's true. But with as many bad days as I seem to have... well, it can't be normal.
I guess today in itself wasn't that bad. The worst part was the cold, and having to do a job for crapping Don Kirby, who was my junky religion professor from last semester. And a I had a horrible headache all day. It's still kind of hurting, but whatever. It's better. But I had lots of delicious food, and I got paid, and got groceries and some Valentine's stuff.
Lisa and I went to the mall, and I bought a warm weather coat that I've been wanting for a long time at Hot Topic. It's the only thing I've decided to get for myself from the money Dad gave me as a yearly allowance from the taxes. I guess I'll save the rest or something. The coat is only in Medium at the mall here in town, so they had to ask another store for a large. So I haven't bought it yet, but technically I have. I'm pretty excited about it. It's a cute coat.
There's some chaos happening in my hall tonight. Very loud chaos.
I want to write. So I will
She tipped the glass back, draining its contents with a grimace. Brandy was not her favourite drink, but the frigid winter weather warranted something to warm her, and so she ordered some brandy on the rocks. Vanilla brandy, actually. The bartender saw her take it down, and came over to the place where she sat at the bar, far from everyone else, with the bottle, ready to refill her glass.
"No thanks," she whispered hoarsely. "I just needed one to keep me going tonight."
She placed some money, too much for just one brandy, on the counter, gathered her coat and scarf, and left. As soon as she stepped outside, the fierce wind, bringing a blizzard with it, blasted her in the face, screaming through her ears, distant cries of someone in pain. She shrugged her coat on, wrapped her scarf tightly around her neck, and stuffed her hands in her pockets. She had a long way to go before she got home. She hoped that the brandy kept her warm.
The bartender watched as she walked, not towards the cars, but into the woods. He shook his head; there were plenty of dangers in the streets, but walking in the woods at night was not something even the burly man would do. He could not help but wonder why she headed into the woods.
The wind was calmer in the woods, but it gave an eerie wail as it sidestepped through the trees. She was reminded of Dante's Divine Comedy, in which the character, Dante himself, heard such horrible cries and wails as he passed through the Inferno. This little town is certainly like some sort of hell. She dared not open her mouth to speak these words to herself. She knew that on nights like this, the wind would whisk your breath away as soon as you parted your lips, so she kept her head tucked into her scarf up to her nose. Her lungs still froze with each breathe she took behind the knitted barrier.
Finally, after an eternity of an hour and a half, she arrived at a little shanty. An old house, robbed of electricity and heat years ago, it was a foreboding place. Ivy crept up the walls and windows, though now, only vines stuck their tethers into the crevices in the brick. The leaves had dried and fallen months ago.
more to come, maybe.
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